(video made by Gillian Derer)
I love myself and my feelings are worthwhile. I don’t have to put myself down. It’s ok to think well of myself. Today, I declare that I will continue to build myself up and be the best person I can be.
(click play to have us read the lesson to you)
What is Self Esteem?
Self Esteem is a manifestation of your relationship with yourself, which is based on your own personal assessment from within. When our self esteem is high we tend to treat ourselves with love and kindness. We still can love ourselves when our self esteem is low, however we may question; Am I good enough? Or am I worthy? We can all be our own worst critic at times. Often, we will place judgement on ourselves, based on whether we receive acknowledgment and praise from others. It’s nice to have favourable opinions, but we must realize that others opinions of us, are just that…their opinion.
When we receive not so favourable judgements or opinions it can have a negative effect on our emotions. It can play havoc with our mental health. Being mindful of our thoughts and not allowing them to create strong emotions is not easy, but can be learned. Maintaining a healthy balance of self esteem takes practice. Ask yourself, does the opinions of others really matter. A positive sense of self esteem is the foundation for your mental and emotional health. When you succumb to low self esteem you tend to take on a negative sense of self which can have a ripple effect on your whole being. It affects us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Self care is important for creating our best positive self.
Building Self Esteem
Your image of self is learned, it can be reprogrammed and fine tuned. Having positive self esteem creates good feelings about ourselves, we then enjoy being, who we are. You may not always feel good about yourself, when this arises take it as an opportunity to change your thoughts and to reflect on more positive ones. If we take a good look at ourselves and don’t like what you see, chances are, you’re going to treat yourself poorly. Having low self esteem can cause you to decide you’re not capable of doing much. The truth is …you are very capable of achieving personal greatness in every aspect of your life. You must believe in yourself. Worrying too much about “stuff” can mean that you fail to enjoy the good experiences that make your life wonderful. It’s not so much what you do with your life, that makes you happy. It’s how you view what your doing, that makes the difference.
Perspective can have a huge impact on our well being.
Be friendly and positive towards yourself. Cutting yourself some slack is a positive and loving thing to do for yourself, it’s normal to feel low from time to time. You’re still worthy of personal success! Using positive affirmations can create a strong, healthy vocabulary of how you feel about yourself, which in turn helps you build confidence. Fostering positive self-esteem and balance requires you to practice self care. Personal fulfillment is a rich experience so why not make it a personal practice to love and care for you. Become your own best friend.
Taking Care of You
For those who suffer with depression and anxiety this can be a challenge at times. Even when you don’t feel good about yourself, you can do things to make yourself feel better. Empowering yourself by taking care of your body, mind and spirit is essential to making those changes you need to make to move forward. Taking good care of your health starts with how you fuel your body, mind and spirit. Giving yourself the fuel you need, will boost your energy levels and will help you to see things in a more positive light. What are the essentials of self care? What can I do to feel better about myself?
Here are some things that prove U Matter:
- Eat a healthy diet. When you eat healthy we feel healthier.
- Take some time everyday for yourself. Do something you enjoy and love to do. This is good for your soul.
- Read about something that empowers your mind. This will help to improve your power of positive thinking.
- Do something nice for someone else. This will make you feel good by doing something positive to help others. This can be as simple as sharing your smile with someone who could use one.
These are just a few starters to an endless list. The more time you spend on yourself the freer you will become. Taking time for self is not selfish, it actually gives us the fuel we need to better serve others. Take a time out. You’ve earned it!!
Self talk is your internal dialog. It creates your emotional state in your body, which in turn can create more internal dialog. Your internal dialog can create calmness in your heart and mind or it can create stress. Having a negative internal dialog can cause you to feel like your losing control of your emotions. Self talk is what influences our self esteem. It can have a positive or negative effect on your energy levels, actions, behaviour, performance, relationships with others and your overall well being. Self talk, plays a role in determining how you handle stressful events or how easily you can replace unhealthy behaviours with healthy ones. When our self talk is negative, this can cause a distortion of our reality and can increase negative emotions such as guilt, fear or anxiety. It occurs generally during emotional turmoil or when you are going through a personal transition or a generally stressful situation.
When you catch your negative self talk, STOP! Take a deep breath, relax or if possible remove yourself from the situation. This will interrupt your thought train and give you a moment to refocus. It may help to write down some of your thoughts and then ask yourself some questions. Some questions could be: Are these thoughts valid? What affect will this have in my immediate future? Are they true?
Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can change the self talk that could cause you emotional distress. Make sure your positive self talk is realistic. Reaffirm success into your own self talk and this can lower your stress levels by incorporating positive thinking patterns.
Here are some examples of Positive Self Talk:
- I am worthy and I matter!
- I am determined to be a success.
- I am healthy, wise and strong.
- I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
- I love myself.
Using Positive Affirmations to
Enhance Self Esteem
What is a positive affirmation? A positive affirmation is a statement that you believe to be true. Affirmations are a series of specific statements used to change a negative thought process. The power is in the positive.
Enhancing our self esteem with the use of positive affirmations can change a person’s life. Anyone can learn to use positive affirmations to change negative thought patterns. Many people don’t realize that building self esteem is a lifelong practice, learning the power of positivity through our belief system is a great way to enhance what we can come to believe is true about one’s self.
Here are some examples of Positive Affirmations:
- My life has meaning and purpose.
- Today is a beautiful day and I will enjoy all it brings.
- My body is healthy, my mind is calm, and my soul is joyful.
- Happiness is a blessing and I will share mine with others.
(click play to have us read the homework to you)
- Make a list of your own negative self talk. Take a good look at what you see and change the negative to a more positive thought. For Example: A negative could be: I’m not good at this. Turning this into a positive could look like: I will use the strategies I’ve learned.
- Make a list of your own positive affirmations. Post them where you can see them and can read them over several times a day.
- Make an action plan of what you feel you can do for yourself to help you think more positively. Write out your goals and stick to them. Reward yourself for all of your success!!!
- Take some time out to work on your self esteem. You have worked hard on being positive. Try to delete the negatives that don’t make you feel good about yourself and work on making you the best you can be!!
- When you notice, your internal dialog is negative. Take a second to
- S Stop
- B breathe
- P Proact
(click on link to download this lesson)