How do we grow, to experience more of what life has to offer?

(Press play to listen to Something has to change)

Something has to Change

Before my awakening, I felt stuck, frustrated and pissed off. I bounced between one distraction to another. I had a constant feeling there was more for me in this life. Even during the good, the stable times, I felt something wasn’t right; I was sinking. I needed more. Usually I sought the, “more” through longer hours at work, buying, “more” stuff and adding, “more” debt and becoming, “more” unhappy in the process. I had searched and tried many things only to be right where I had begun. I wanted more in life, I needed more in life because the life I was living, was not working. If I was ever going to experience more in my life something had to change. I wanted off the treadmill. This book, contains the main things I worked with to uncover my peace. I discuss how I successfully turned things around. How I changed my life for the better.

My Internal Dialogue

It wasn’t until I started to look at the quality of my thoughts that I began to realize just how toxic my mind had become. I had an internal voice that ran a negative commentary all the time. I was hard on me and everyone around me. I couldn’t even live up to my own standards. No matter what was happening in the moment, I always saw the negative side. Even when there was nothing to complain about, I would return to a crappy moment from the past or jump ahead to a future moment that had not yet come to pass. I could be having the time of my life and right in the middle of it all, think, “Crap! The day is almost over, I have to go to work tomorrow in that stinking factory.” I had become addicted, and totally unaware of my toxic thinking. In my mind, I had created a complex infrastructure, a maze of roads that all lead to the same place, insanity or my own living hell.

As my interest in my spirituality grew, I began to realize how toxic my thoughts had become. I began reading and absorbing new knowledge. I began to resurface my roads with better and nicer thoughts. Eventually, I had repaved almost every road in my mind, however all the roads still led to the same place, crazy town. I thought by adding more and new beliefs, that my mind would be a better place to hang out in. Nothing really changed for me. Instead of feeling low most of the time and pretending I was happy, I pretended I was happy all the time and felt like I was on a roller coaster that never stopped going up and down.

Positive thinking on its own was like adding more bread to a shit sandwich. Being positive doesn’t guarantee your awakening or can it expand your consciousness.

My Unwillingness to Change

My inner dialogue needed to do to change. I was unwilling to let go of my past. Clinging to my old wounds kept my ego fuelled, and protected my identity. I held onto the idea that I was worthless most of my adult life. It haunted me daily creating an unhealthy attachment to my past and the labels others had placed on me. My unwillingness to let go of my past gave me a reason to feel angry and sad. I needed my past to justify the way I felt and behaved in my life. Carrying those old wounds gave me the right to be intolerant and pissed off. If I let go of my past, the only thing would be left, that I was an asshole. It seemed better to be a broken asshole who was sad and angry.

I was tired of wrestling with the painful memories. Letting go had seemed impossible most of my life, I felt trapped and destined to be forever stuck in my past. The tools I share in the book are what I used to wake up to my heart. My life now is full of enlightened moments. Every time I surrender and be courageous enough to love, my divinity enlivens the moment.

Standing in the Place of Change

By changing your relationship with your thoughts, releasing yourself from the past, living in the present moment and embracing love, will make profound changes in your life. Changes that are right, positive and in alignment with your purpose. You will awaken. The mind can carry more weight than you can handle in your life. That weight results a life of struggle and disease. With nothing weighing you down you can make better life decisions. You will make better decisions because the path ahead is clearer.

Maybe you will discover is that nothing really needs to change in your life. You might just love the place you’re in.