Chapter Thirteen: The Divine Feminine/Masculine

I have been contemplating the masculine/feminine polarities for many years, not knowing how to express what was churning inside me. As I’ve worked toward raising my awareness of these polarities, my life began to change. These changes helped me flow with life and interact with the world around me more harmoniously. Balancing our masculine and feminine attributes is of great importance to our deeper awakenings. We unconsciously dip into both of these polarities countless times a day. However, it’s an overlooked dynamic that requires some attention. 

Chapter Thirteen

The Divine Feminine/Masculine

Positive Affirmation: Deep in the silence, I find myself in the heart of everything and nothing. I am beyond gender or anything in the physical world.

An expanding movement in consciousness is occurring in the world. I foresee many people moving into a period of great awakening. This is necessary, because to move beyond the place we are in, a fundamental shift is needed. Making a deeper connection to the Divine Feminine would help facilitate this shift. The power of the Divine Feminine would bring great balance to the world. I once heard that “the new earth” would arrive when Mother Mary returns. I have never been able to find a reference to this in my studies, but I have always felt that this is a metaphor for a deeper truth. The rise of darkness in the world only strengthens the potential for the light of creation to come forward, and the dark times we’ve been moving through have been facilitating a global awakening.

I have been contemplating the masculine/feminine polarities for many years, not knowing how to express what was churning inside me. As I’ve worked toward raising my awareness of these polarities, my life began to change. These changes helped me flow with life and interact with the world around me more harmoniously. Balancing our masculine and feminine attributes is of great importance to our deeper awakenings. We unconsciously dip into both of these polarities countless times a day. However, it’s an overlooked dynamic that requires some attention. Clearing away our mental chatter is the first step. This opens a space for a deeper perspective and elevated consciousness to arise in our experience, and we naturally find a balance between the masculine and feminine qualities within ourselves. When we understand both polarities and begin to consciously work with them, the power to express our divinity grows.

Exploring the Two Polarities

We come to this world with a preassigned gender, but our true nature is androgynous. At our core, we hold both masculine and feminine sets of potentials. However, males are more naturally aligned with masculine attributes and women closer to feminine attributes. Because of this, we have assigned genders to the polarities, which is a critical error. Society has been living this way for centuries, diminishing our true potential. Unassigning gender roles to the polarities would help us make a great leap in our potential to create more balanced lives.

Each polarity holds attributes and potentials that are unique to its polarity. Understanding each polarity helps us reach into each potential depending on the circumstances that arise in our life. For example, the masculine polarity is determined and task-oriented, whereas the feminine polarity see’s the bigger picture. When both potentials are applied while working toward a goal, we succeed in our endeavours with greater efficiency.

The world has been heavily weighted toward both the empowered and disempowered side of the masculine polarity for a very long time. The goal is not to negate the masculine polarity but to raise the feminine and balance it with the masculine to create a perfect symmetry between the two. Again, understanding both sides of these polarities will help to bring them into balance. A flower has roots, a stem, and buds, and it takes all those parts to make the flower. When we remove any part, the flower will wither and eventually die or fail to manifest its true potential. The same is true with the masculine and feminine –we need both to flourish. It’s also important to know that the masculine and feminine aren’t opposites but two parts of the Divine’s oneness. By embracing and balancing these two parts, we deepen our experience of God because we are perceiving, receiving, and expressing from a place of wholeness.

The chart below maps out some of the main attributes of the masculine polarity. We can use the chart to identify when we are in or out of balance with our masculine side. Take some time to identify your strengths and weaknesses within your masculine polarity.

Masculine Attributes: In Balance vs. Out of Balance

 The Balanced Side of the Masculine

The masculine is strong and sturdy. If the masculine energy were a house, it would be the frame that holds the structure together. The masculine energy is rooted in intellect and wisdom. When we are in our masculine energy working toward a goal, we don’t allow others to detour us or get in our way of achieving our goals.

When the masculine is in balance, we experience its immense power. Masculine energy brings internal strength and determination to complete the task at hand when actualizing a plan. The masculine also holds assertive and confident energy. These two attributes pair well with its strength and determination. It’s important to note again that all of these qualities reside in each of us and are not gender specific. When we reach into the attributes of the masculine, we unlock the potential we have within.

The Unbalanced Side of the Masculine

If our masculine energy is out of balance, we can become destructive and forceful, leaving no room for the ideas of others. As a result, we become dominant while enforcing our objectives. Other qualities of the imbalanced masculine are arrogance, self-serving, an inability to see the bigger picture, and getting caught up with a specific task versus a plan’s overall objective. An unbalanced masculine polarity is less adaptive to change, so when change does come, this can cause us to become resistant or combative. We can become the rescuer in one moment, and in the next, the abuser.

Men who have not reached into their feminine attributes (see the chart below) may resist going against their imposed gender roles. They might also become aggressive and dominant if they feel threatened by a female who has a healthy balance of feminine and masculine polarities and doesn’t fall prey to gender stereotypes.

When a male embraces both polarities—and has a strong connection to the Divine—he becomes powerful in his personal life and the lives of others. I added “connection to the Divine” because our relationship with God is where we receive our deepest intuitions. A male might bypass his intuition or fail to act upon his feminine attributes if he is heavily rooted in masculinity. A balanced male doesn’t feel threatened by his feminine qualities. Instead, he feels stronger because of his ability to access and express those qualities. A male who cannot access his feminine gives up half of his power. This works the same for females as well.

In my twenties and thirties, I struggled with embracing my feminine attributes. I felt that I couldn’t stray from my imposed gender roles. However, I could feel a connection to my feminine attributes starting to come forward because my work as an artist. The more time I spent quietly creating, the deeper my connection to the feminine and the silence within became. I began to see and feel changes happening in me. Once I started to embrace those changes, I started writing poetry. Writing became a safe outlet for me to explore my feelings and all the inner experiences that were taking place. I didn’t yet feel strong enough to talk about these changes, so poetry created a safe buffer to express what was happening. I even went through a time where I questioned my sexuality. I thought, how could I have feminine qualities and be heterosexual? At the time, I didn’t understand that I was out of balance, and that my higher self was nudging me to find the balance I had as a young boy. In my early adolescence, I was soft and nurturing and cared very deeply for the people around me.

When I was very young, I remember staying in the hospital to have my adenoids removed. The next night after the surgery, I bolted awake in an altered state, feeling an intense connection to the boy in the bed next to me. It felt like he needed someone to hold him, so I went to his bedside and hugged him. At that moment, I remember feeling intense love pour into me. I repeatedly whispered “I love you” as I held the young boy. Eventually, the nurses came and ushered me back to bed. When they woke me up the next day, I noticed that the boy next to me was gone. I asked them where he was, and they said he was better and went home. What happened the night before was still running through my mind. It was a profound experience. To this day, I’ve always felt that that evening was Divinely inspired. During that experience in the hospital, I was deeply connected to God and balanced in my polarities.

Balancing our polarities helps in many areas of our lives. It can be a powerful tool in business, relationships, and our daily interactions with others. Being in balance also helps us deal with change and adversity as it flows into and through our lives.

Feminine Attributes: In Balance vs. Out of Balance

The Balanced Side of the Feminine

If the feminine energy were a house, it would be the architectural plan that guides the builder to construct the home. Feminine energy holds the bigger picture and the creative force that makes a plan successful. Its power lies with its gentleness and passive resistance. Our feminine polarity knows the importance of nurturing and maintaining, encourages growth, and moves easily with change. When our feminine side is balanced, we have a strong connection to our intuition. In the feminine, we find all the guidance needed to navigate through our lives.

The Unbalanced Side of the Feminine

Feminine energy that is out of balance leads to becoming deceptive and manipulative to achieve a goal. On the other side of the coin, we can become passive to the point of allowing a situation or another person to control us. When that happens, we can become too self-sacrificing, leaving us with a depleted lifeforce and in a place where we might be looking to be rescued. The out-of-balance feminine polarity accepts change too readily and may be willing to go along with changes that are not mutually sustaining for all.

The Polarities Balanced

In Chapter Two, I wrote that the masculine is a seed and the feminine is the expression of the seed. The seed represents a blueprint or plan, and the expression of the seed represents the movement of creation. Between the masculine and feminine polarities, we find an illuminated path that brings balance to our lives. As we work toward staying on the empowered side of each polarity, we begin to see that life is not a series of wins and losses that we ride out in our minds and emotions. Instead, life becomes a constant flow of creation as each moment unfolds. The need to fight and struggle falls away. Life gives us all we need, and we feel blessed to be here to enjoy our lives.

I can now see how my “former” life was full of laborious pushing. I was trying to force life to be and become something it was not. But as I’ve learned to balance myself, the need to push has naturally fallen away. The rhythm of life has its natural flow, and we fall into that rhythm as we return our attention to the silence within. While surrendering to that silence, we naturally fall into perfect balance with the polarities. The energy and wisdom of each polarity weave themselves into our experience, allowing us to express and explore with the grace of God divinely guiding us in the process. Once in balance, we don’t need to think about the masculine and feminine; that thinking interrupts the natural flow of each polarity.

Being in balance with our polarities doesn’t automatically change our life, though. Our lives will continue as they have. Instead, it changes how we work and deal with life as it flows around us. The difficulties that arrive won’t throw us into a downward spiral of frustration, anger and disappointment that pulls us into a disastrous trajectory. Instead, the struggles of life become learning opportunities. Our balance gives us all the tools we need to work with others and create the most beautiful experiences. As we learn to be thankful for the moments that arise, we can consciously join in with what’s flowing into our lives. There will be times when the silence within guides us to dig in our heels and stand up to what we know is our truth, and other times when we surrender and smile at adversity. Life is not a difficult, complex equation, but our minds and emotions can certainly lead us to believe that.

My greatest struggles have not been life itself. It has been how I dealt with life.

Before we learn to master ourselves, the world around us is our master, and it dictates how our day will be. Once we begin to master ourselves, everything around us starts losing its power to control us. We see that the Divine within us is the only master to serve, and we make better servants when we are in balance with our Divine Masculine and our Divine Feminine.

Once we begin to master our two polarities, they become one potential that influences our experience. It’s important to know that there is no duality between the polarities. Rather, each one is a creative aspect of the Divine. By bringing them together within ourselves, we experience a deeper awareness of the Oneness of the Divine. Ultimately, the idea that we have a masculine and feminine side is another partial truth that falls away the longer we work with the polarities.

Tools to Deepen Your Experience of this Chapter

  1. Take a moment to reflect on how your life has changed over the last few years. Have the struggles you have gone through changed your life?
  2. Have gender roles changed anything you wanted to do in your life? For example, if you are female, have you ever wanted to work in an industry that is male dominated? Take some time to reflect on how you behaved as a small child before gender roles affected you. Have you changed any of your behaviours?
  3. If you are female, what masculine traits do you have. If you are male, what feminine traits do you have?
  4. Using the masculine and feminine attributes charts, observe your strengths and weaknesses. Once you have identified any “disempowered” areas you need to work on, watch for ways to transform them into the empowered side of each chart.

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